Just grabbing her hand can sometimes take my breath away. It’s in those quiet moments as we’re walking side-by-side, thoughts fluttering like butterflies in my stomach that I’m overcome with thankfulness for who she is in my life. Merely staring into her eyes freezes time and for once I’m at peace with eternity.
I don’t think I’ve quite grasped the charge, the blessing, or the challenge of the up-and-coming married life. This engagement season is entirely way too short, but I think that God knows if it were any longer, I’d second-guess myself.
I’m reminded of what Paul tells the Ephesians:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (5.25-27).
And I wonder how I’m going to do that? How could I possibly love someone else like Christ loved me?
The weight of my role in marriage is slowly dawning on me: the laying down of myself to make my wife as radiant and blameless as possible.
It means I need to lay down my pride, put aside my fears, and boldly defend the honor of the woman I’m going to marry. It means I must be able to sit with peace in the midst of the storm and remind her of His promise. It means I sacrifice, no matter how much I bleed.
The thought of covenant overwhelms me. Making promises is easy, but choosing sacrifice when they’re tested isn’t.
One thing I do know for certain: I love her. I see the greatness in her and I believe in the woman she is and the woman she’ll become. I’m honored to call her my soon-to-be and future wife. And I’ll always remember how wide His grace is every time she takes my hand.
**Please keep Merridith and I in your prayers as we continue to plan for our wedding. Even more so, pray that I can grow into a man who can lead, provide for, promote, and protect her well. Thanks!